this still makes me tear. i cant believe i even wrote this.
"Only in my dreams right? Reality otherwise. Pain knowing I can't have you. Knowing that no matter if I wish upon a star and persevere in what I believe in its not going to happen. Just realize what we've been through. All these thoughts running in my head. after loosing you is like a never ending fall. I just can't stop running. Im going to keep falling and hit rock bottom and hit the ground,but it still doesn't hurt as much as you leaving my life. But the agony just hurts. Too much too handle. I need you in my life. Its like you're a puzzle piece and my puzzled life will never be complete if you weren't there to fill in the blanks where my heart once skipped a beat. Shattered: One thousand pieces trying to pick up. Just don't
mess with it anymore because im sick and tired trying to motivate myself to go up and live with the best. But you just keep coming back to me and its hard to let go. I just don't want to get hurt. Only In my dreams will anything be true. I want my dreams to become reality. But its just my fantasy I want to live as. I can never be the princess. I will never be princess. For all I wanted was true love. Its like a never ending chase. You just end up on another path of love that I got to keep working at. But I'M DONE. I have my own way and im going to work my way. im just going to be open hearted and let the true love come in. Just no more tears. Im afraid of the fears. The Future is annoyomous. Define for me what love is. I seem to not know anything. I'm clueless and a sucker for love. Well im gone. I just want to be happy. Im not gonna let you bring me down. Because I am strong and independent. I've never had my heart broken and im planning to keep it that way. Its fragile and is honest. "Unconditional love is my hopes. My dreams. My every desire. " " You say you get distracted easily." You also get with girls easily. What's next? Im not no secondary. Im not about to be the girl that you go to if the other girls diss you. Im not gonna be the girl that you go for only because you know I desire you. But I was wrong. and I know it. Its just the things you do,the words you say kill me. It makes me fall for you all over again. Grrr, what's wrong with me? Why. Why. Why. I knew it. Gosh. You're always like that. Its like,my heart is always devoted to you. But you mess with it. It hurts to hear that you like another girl. But oh well. I need to eventually move on. You always forget about me. Oh well. GRR. My heart hurts. I need to chillax. You saay things you don't even mean. So why say it? Don't you realize it hurts me? Don't you realize I do truly care. and you say that you want a serious relationship in life but how are you ever gonna get it when you just so..I don't know but I can't explain it. You say our love is forbidden. But where is the love? Im just forgotten. Mayn,I need to find a guy in my life who loves me.
